Bad Jeans

My jeans are making me fat.

Well, maybe I can't blame it all on them. But, at the very least, they're lulling me into a terrible sense of complacency. You see, I've been living in boyfriend jeans (not this exact Current/Elliott pair, but I own four pairs of a similar slouchy style. Yup, I'm a hoarder.)

Anyway, I pull them on and they immediately slide down. Hmmm, I'll think, perhaps those two cupcakes yesterday didn't do as much damage as I thought. As the day goes on, the drawers get droopier. Huh, maybe I should have a full-fat caramel macchiato, I'll think to myself.

To make matters worse, I've found an end-run around the horror of skinny jeans — an elastic waist. This pair from Forever XXI (a mere $20) is unbelievable. First of all, not only does the stretchy waist, although maternity clothing-like, make wearing such a style infinitely more comfortable, but the stretchy denim is strong enough to cinch in bulges and lumps. AND, I bought a size 26! I am so not a 26. But pair vanity sizing with easy-to-wear jeans and I'm your customer for life. One day, I will use my walker to toddle into Forever XXI. That will be the day that they change the sign — You're Not Really 21. Stop Kidding Yourself.

Until that time, I've got some darn good options for Thanksgiving pants.