August's First Shoe Haiku

Doc says wear "good" shoes
That means wide toes, good support
These take out the sting.


Shoe n' Tell: For the past few summers I've had foot surgeries.

Chalk it up to the genetic joys of bunions* and hammertoes. First leftie and then rightie. That was a fun one — couldn't drive for two months. But now I have pain-free and much prettier feet. The pink raised tracks are barely noticeable, which is actually annoying to me because I want gruesome battle scars, proof of what I endured.

A year later, my right foot still has swelling, with my poor pinkie looking like a jumbo Quasimodo toe. A recent trip to the doctor showed that everything was just fine; it's just taking longer to heal.

"Wear wider shoes with good support," said my podiatrist — who was wearing strappy stiletto sandals.

Hrumph. So I found these leopard-print Simples ($55, but I got 'em on the last day of a 40 percent cashback dealio). They're just funky enough that I feel better about having to wear "sensible" shoes.

Outfit: cheapie tiered skirt; old Banana Republic tank; Sauce jacket.

*Bunions are not — as my mother continues to stubbornly think even though she has them, and they're obviously from her side of the family — a result of wearing high heels. Bunions have popped up in barefoot tribes in Africa. So there, Mommy.

Butt-Ugly Boots

Behold, the ugliest boots I have ever seen. Ever.

They're Maison Martin Margiela. Get this — they're called "Tabi Round Heel Booties." Um, I'm sorry, the designers think the most salient part of this boot is the heel? How about that toe area that makes you resemble a goat? Cloven hooves are not a look I plan to embrace this fall, thankyouverymuch.

Price: $815 smackaroos. Bleat.

An Homage to the Crack Den

Today J Crew sent out an e-mail heralding its FINAL SALE (seems like that ought to be capped), which is now at 40 percent off.

Naturally, I went there last week when it was still 30. D'oh.

No matter, I scored these shorts for a mere $14. Loved the starfish print when it came out, and I'm happy to add it to my arsenal for so cheap. Although, when you look at it close up, it can make your eyes go screwy.

Act now or hold onto your wallet.

Today's outfit: J Crew v-neck tee, starfish print shorts, Cynthia Vincent for Target wedges, Jimmy Choo bag (from a swap party!!!), H&M faux leather bracelet and beaded bracelets from a local boutique.

Zit Zapper

Mother Nature can be such a cold-hearted bitch.

At those times in your life when things are most topsy-turvy and you most need confidence — teenagerdom, pregnancy, new motherhood — what happens? Breakout city.

And, at those times when things are just hunky dory what happens? Yup, same flippin' thing — breakout city.

Even when you think you're past all that hormonal nonsense, you're not. I remember my mom slathering on pimple cream well into her 50s.

"I don't mind," she told me. "It keeps me young."

Yeah, well, I mind.

I don't know what I've done to deserve the breakout that's erupted across my chin and left cheek, but I have obviously angered Big Mama. So annoying. I had nothing in the medicine cabinet to help, so I did some sleuthing online. Then, I set out in search of Neutrogena's 3-in-1 Hydrating Acne Treatment.

Unlike most — well, all — zit zappers this one lacks the medicinal, gag-reflex inducing smell. It's got a cucumber, spalike scent, which already increases the pleasantness of using such a product. Salicylic acid is the active ingredient, so it dries things up lickety-split but so far it hasn't made my skin desertlike. It manages to be hydrating while it's beating down those pimples. Worth checking out, should you become afflicted.

Neutrogena 3-in1 Hydrating Acne Treatment is readily available at Target and drugstores for $7.

Monday Madness

Just a quick post before I check myself in to a psychiatric hospital.

I figure I need to get my head examined, given the exquisite and exquisitely priced things I've been falling for lately.

To wit:

• See by Chloe slingback clogs ($270). I have purchased three wooden-soled shoes in as many weeks, and I still cannot get enough. These are beyond cool with the strap, studs and partially covered wedge.

• Hasbeens ($362, including $52 shipping. Woof). See? Again with the clog. I'm not a fan of the regular clogs, but something about these — the Skittles colors? The laces? — really makes me drool. The website has a model wearing 'em with denim cutoffs, and it just looks so darn cute.

• Gryphon Knotted Jersey Tee Dress ($218). A few friends give me a lot of flak for my ever-expanding jersey dress collection, but this one is simply irresistible. The knots add edge and 'zazz. The form-fitting shape is flat-out sexy. Both elements elevate the humble, easy-to-wear jersey dress to a whole new level. Really, it doesn't even count as jersey.

• Sonia by Sonia Rykiel faux fur coat ($545). As a general rule, I shy away from Sonia Rykiel stuff. Her hair scares me. Perhaps that's not a valid reason for avoiding an entire clothing line, but I just can't get that crazy coif out of my head. This oversized animal print coat makes me forgive the bad hair. Love the scale of the spots — and fur was alllllll over the runways for fall again. Yippee.

So there you have it. If a subsequent post involves IRL photos of any of these items, well, you'll know I've truly lost it. Or, I'll be dead because my husband would absolutely kill me.

Forever XXI Sheer Cardigan IRL

Steal that Winter Kate look — or, at least pay less than $30 for it — with this Forever XXI top. Sure it's listed as maternity wear (anyone else bothered by a store aimed at teens featuring clothes for the knocked up?), but it's silk and very well done.

What's in the dorky photo: featured cardi; Michael Stars dress; Cynthia Vincent for Target wedges and a felted sweater rose ring by PaganoDesignWorks, an incredibly talented friend.

Bedside Reading — "Sex And The City 2"

OK, maybe titling this post bedside "reading" is a little generous — it's all about the looking, actually more like gazing longingly at fabulous clothes and shoes.

I never really got into "Sex And The City." Saw the first few episodes and the last, and I was fine with that. When the movies came out, I didn't rush out to see them. Months after the movie's release, the first SATC "lookbook" was on the sale table at Urban Outfitters. It was $5. Generally, I don't pass up anything marked down to $5. It's a personal rule.

Still hadn't seen the movie, but it was such fun to flip through the pages and see all those gorgeous outfits and how Patricia Field put things together. Same holds true for the latest book (which is available on Amazon for not quite $10). It's like the ultimate fashion mag. I even have a few things in my closet that could duplicate the feel of some of SJP's very, very casual outfits.

My favorite piece from SATC 2 — the John Galliano newsprint dress. I have a fondness for newsprint. Apparently John Galliano has a line of underwear with the same motif. I dunno for for $89, I want people to see the piece.