Friday Shoe.....Song!

To the tune of Phil Collins' "Sussidio"

There's a shoe that's been on my miiiiiind, all the time
Shoe-shoe-shoedio....Oooo..ooo..oooo...ooo

Shoe 'n Tell: I'm in the mood for nude...platforms. I want my legs to look six feet long. Much easier said than done, for a variety of reasons. Chief among them: I cannot walk in super high shoes. These Calvin Klein "Carley" ($98) pumps have a sturdy heel, though, which could help. Now the question is, are they the right shade of nude for me. This is a hard thing to buy online.

Lovin' Linen

Well, perhaps a more appropriate post title would be I think I'm lovin' linen. I don't actually have any wide-legged, beachy pants in my closet.

A travesty.

I'm tired of being hot and sweaty and mostly I'm sick of shaving my legs every darn day. Wide-legged linen pants seem to be an appropriate response to all that.

There's lots to love out there. To wit:

• Converse One Star "Estella" linen-blend pants ($29.99). This seems to be the most logical choice because it's the cheapest. They're sold out online (is that a hint at their spectacularity?), but I spotted them in a local Target, not in my size (of course), but they seemed soft enough and not too sheer. I plan to hunt them down.

• Current/Elliott Wide Leg Lounge Trouser ($185). Doesn't it just seem wrong that something with the word "lounge" in the title comes with a three-figure price tag? No doubt the Cadillac of linen pants, these aren't even linen. They're Tencel, which is awesome because it drapes so nicely and is sooooo soft. The flat-front is a bonus because you can wear a shirt untucked without that unsightly drawstring bulge.

• Allen Allen Linen Pants ($59). The front, button pockets add a cute detail and the straight, not overly wide leg, is good for a more conservative pant.

A Cocktail Ring

Summer sales ROCK. Hard.

For probably a year I've been stalking chunky Chan Luu rings. They're pricey, though — usually in the $150 range. But when local W Boutique had its annual "super freakin' big" sale and this was 75 percent off, well, naturally I brought it home. The stone is adventurine, and is kind of a blue-ish green, think translucent turquoise.

Cheap Thrill: A Sweet Grind

It's only a matter of time before I accidentally use this all over the chicken enchiladas instead of pepper. Still, I like having it around.

This crunchy melange of chocolate, fat sugar crystals and coffee beans in the pepper-imposter bottle is a fun way to perk up coffee or milk or even ice cream. It's only $1.99 at Trader Joe's.

Color Counts

When it comes to C & C California, I can't help but say si and si!

Pretty much every day is a sale, and free shipping is a frequent perk. What's not to love about cheap, well-constructed basics?

So, I bought a black, spaghetti-strap tank dress for next to nothing and when the price dropped even more a month later, I felt compelled to buy another.

And here begins the cautionary tale. I went for a pale orange. It's a fun, spring-y color. But while the black was sleek, this much lighter color showed off the pooch, VPL and that troublesome gluteal area. It highlighted all the bad stuff.

But it was so crazy cheap, it wasn't worth the $5 shipping to send back. So, I did what any self-conscious girl who can't afford a little lipo would do — I camoflaged.

The army-green Georgie vest hides my pooch and butt and thighs, but lets enough of the sunny color show through. Whew.

Outfit: Georgie vest; C & C California tank dress; Streets ahead cuff; random belt; Dolce Vita wedges.

Friday Shoe Haiku: Branchin' Out

You are not my type.
Oxfords are such a no-no*.
I think I love you.

Shoe n' Tell: Rachel Comey's cheap line for Urban Outfitters, Contributor By Rachel Comey, features these two-tone oxfords ($69). As a general rule, I loathe oxfords. They are just too heavy, too clunky, too man-y. If I wanted to look like a dude, I'd be a cross-dresser. This pair, though, maybe it's the textured canvas or maybe it's just the more narrow shape and heel, look quite fetching.

*for me.

Blingin' It Up

I've never been a fan of tattoos.

Ink just doesn't seem like a good idea. I mean, people gain weight, lose weight, skin starts to sag. What looked so good at 18 starts lookin' sad around 38.

Plus, ink's a serious commitment. Sometimes I don't even like to wear my bracelets all day.

So, I never got a tattoo. Or even wanted one. Until now.

But this fun, shiny thing is a temporary glitter tattoo. It'll be around one week, tops. I'm doing a story on it for work and while I was watching this model get bedazzled with shimmery stars and University of Arizona-colored pawprints (red and blue), I knew I needed — NEEDED — one.

Gadabout SalonSpas recently began offering the Body Shimmer service. It costs $12 per tatt, and you can pick designs ranging from cute n' cuddly (cherries, hearts with crowns) to edgier (skull and crossbones) and Chinese characters that allegedly say things like "I love you" but know some underappreciated, underpaid worker probably really wrote characters that say "Bad tipper" or "I smell like butt" as a way to get back at us Americans for being all up in their business all the time. Just a guess. Still, the characters, no matter what they really say, looked pretty cute. The tattoos are definitely a great, noncommittal, cosmetic pick-me-up.

Cool Label Name

An odd preoccupation of mine is coming up with names for things.

To wit, The Guilty Vegan (for a restaurant). Unused band names: Phat Girl Party or Lycra Wedgie. Oh, there are more, but I don't want to repel people from this blog so I'll stop.

When I heard about Girls We Hated in High School, I automatically thought about a few bleachy-haired, overmascara-ed chicks. Then I realized it was the name of Jeffrey Campbell's new line of purses. Funny, awesome. If fashion can't be fun, what's the point?

Jeans, Like You've Never Seen 'Em Before

Just when you think you've seen every kind of jean there is....Behold these two.

This is what happens when fancy-schmancy designers take on the ripped boyfriend jean — clean-cut slits. The Alexander Wang pair ($345) strikes me as something an uptight, not-quite-trendy-enough socialite would wear. I mock, but I kinda like 'em.

These Current/Elliott stiletto leopard print jeans. ($198) are fabulousness in skinny-jean form. Flat-out amazing. I don't have leopard in this form. Yet.

Easy Breezy Summer Dress

The search is over.

For months, I had been tracking the perfect slip dress. One got away from me at a swap party (silk, gorgeous, but alas, too big). I found this one at Buffalo Exchange. The perfect shade of emerald (loooove green), it has wide straps and an easy, straight shape. The lace gives a sweet, lingerie feel.

Outfit: J Crew cardi, Sparkle & Fade silk slip dress; Klub Nico flats; PaganoDesignworks rose ring; Sheila Fajl ring.

One Week, One Skirt Plus Friday Shoe Haiku

Truth be told, this little series could go on for at least another week — that is how good this skirt is. A stylist told me recently that if she can think of three ways she can style something, then she'll immediately buy the item.

I've got quadruple that with this Preen Line "Serpent" skirt. So versatile.

This dressier approach uses a Forever XXI newsprint T-shirt with a Guess tuxedo blazer. Pumps keep the look work-appropriate. Speaking of pumps....

Candy-apple red
Almond toe and patent shine
Look pricey, but not.

Shoe n' Tell: These Me Too "Locket" pumps have shown up before and have probably even been the topic of a 'ku, but this is my way of keeping them in my consciousness because they're at the back of the closet, easily forgotten. They are near ringers for the shoes I really wanted — some wickedly lovely Stuart Weitzman pumps. These, however, were a fraction of the price.

One Week, One Skirt: Look 4

This look we will call cheap chic. Yes, it's a silk Theory top, but it only cost $14 at Buffalo Exchange. Don't ya love a great bargain?

Outfit: Theory sleeveless top; Preen Line "Serpent" skirt; Forever XXI necklace; Pour La Victoire "Rosyn" wedges.

One Week, One Skirt: Look 3

Hmmmm, what to call this look? Kinda sorta nautical? Stripey? I suppose either works.

I was actually surprised at how much I liked this simple, striped top with the fancy Preen Line "Serpent" skirt. It almost has a Parisian feel.

Outfit: Forever XXI shirt; Cara Croninger heart necklace; Free People bracelet; Isabel Toledo for Payless shoes.

One Week: One Skirt, Look 2

And, here is the Preen Line "Serpent" skirt done up casually. Didn't use the "foot hole." The hem is longer when it just hangs and definitely looks more asymmetrical.

Not that I needed to point it out, but I never attended modeling school, hence the sucky pose. But, it is striking that I appear to have cleavage in this photo. IRL, I do not.

Outfit: T by Alexander Wang t-shirt, random leather cuff, Jeffrey Campell sandals.

One Week, One Skirt

So, I did it.

I splurged and bought this Preen Line "Serpent" skirt that I had been crushing so hard on. It went on sale, there was a code, it was a must-buy situation.

When it arrived, I knew it was the right thing to do. The paperbag-waisted skirt is simple but has edge. The asymmetrical hem actually has a "foot hole" (I'm sure that's a term they use in fancy-pants design school), so you can get this harem pant vibe going or consider it a way to preserve your modesty, whichever is more important in your world. The other option is just to let that extra fabric drape, Grecian-like, and really exaggerate the uneven hem. Either way looks great.

Right off the rip, I thought about several very different tops that would all look smashing with the skirt.

Let's call this first look "The Bad Ass." That would be a plain ol' J Crew tank with a Current/Elliott denim biker vest, a Madewell necklace and Me Too leather sandals.

And let me just add that I am so happy I took all these photos pre-trip to Kansas City, MO. I came home with three extra pounds of baggage, all on my midsection, thanks to the good barbecue.

Fourth o' July — Time For More Poncho Love

Perhaps crack is woven directly into the fiber. I dunno — how else can I explain my odd fixation with ponchos?

I ordered this Ever hoodie last week (an impulse sale buy). Then I decided I didn't need it and would return it, only to open the box today, and, well, it's chinchilla soft.

It must stay.

The poncho also came with the weirdest "bonus" gift — a little fabric bag of ear plugs. I do not see the connection.

Anyhoo, I guarantee you I am not wearing it today as I sit, sweltering in Missouri. Or, as it's pronounced this time of year — Misery. Great googly-moogly I am not looking forward to that humidity.

I shall return in about a week. And when I do, oh boy, do I have something worthwhile to share — a clothing item so wonderful, so versatile, so amazingly beautiful and chic and cool that I am devoting an entire week to all the outfits that can be made from it.

Until then, toodles.

Friday Shoe Haiku: New Brown Lovelies

My Habit? Oh yeah!
Got these splendiferous kicks
For next to nothing.

Shoe n' Tell: Have you visited the Amazon sample sale site My Habit yet? More like Bad Habit. Prices are pretty reasonable on the variety of sales, and there's always free ship/free return. My fave!

Got these Faryl Robin Dalias for a fraction o' the price. The leather is buttery, the wedge is comfy and the perfect mid-heel height. I think I just might keep 'em.