Monday, November 8, 2010

When Dogs Go Tweet




Twitter is annoying.

It encourages narcissism ("Everyone wants to know what I'm doing!!") and makes people increasingly dependent on being perpetually plugged in, which is a bad, bad thing when one day Hal really does take over the world.

As you can tell, I'm not a fan of the Twitter — and not just because I don't know how to tweet, either. It just seems unnecessary and yet another way to keep people from having actual conversations. I wonder if, one day, we humans might evolve to have no tongues and incredibly enormous thumbs.

You can imagine my horror when my husband sent me an e-mail about Puppy Tweets ($34.99), a gizmo that attaches to your dog's collar and allows him/her to tweet.

I shudder to think what our two dumb dogs would have to say.

Mabel (after pulling a snotty Kleenex out of the trash): "Hey! I don't know what this is, but it's yummy!"
Gertie: "Duuuuuuuuuuuh."

Mabel (after pulling up another tree root to use as a rawhide): "Mmmmmmm, crunchy."
Gertie: "Duuuuuuuuuuuh."

Mabel (after eating yet another crayon): "You have got to see this — my poop is GREEN!"
Gertie: "Duuuuuuuuuuuh."

On the other hand, some dogs (not mine) might have more intelligent things to say than two-legged tweeters like Ashton Kutcher.


Photo IDs: The one in the Mickey Mouse hat is Gertie. She is a rock. The fatter, black one is Mabel. She is only the teensiest bit smarter.

2 comments:

Desert Flower said...

Oh dear. Dogs using Twitter. Well, on the upside, they may be more clever than some of the people using it. There is a great deal of inanity to be had on Twitter.

Rose said...

I, too, dislike tweeting. 'nuff said. :|