Goofy Gifts

I am positively giddy.

As I write this, the house is empty of overly-excited children — and relatively clean. I have the day off of work. I am....FREE. No joke, the Peanuts theme music is cranked and I'm doing the happy, Snoopy dance. My ears don't flop like his, but my dance is no less joyous.

To reflect that carefree mood, some silly gift ideas.....

• Lip balm — Monkey Farts flavor. The product description says this all-natural lip balm ($3) smells like a mix of strawberry, banana, kiwi, grapefruit, vanilla and bubblegum. Really? I'd figure monkey farts would smell like bananas.

• Tired Old Ass products (starting at $7). This is just plain funny. Everything — from soaks to lotions — is designed to be relaxing. And who among us, especially at this time of year, doesn't have a tired old ass?

• Fake gift boxes. Hubby gets credit for this one. He found the prank gift boxes and contemplated getting me one but then realized that paying $8 for an empty box plus $5 for shipping was starting to sound like real money. He "gifted" me with the blog idea instead. A wise, penny-pinching move that I appreciate.

And now if you'll excuse me — I have gift-wrapping and some more dancin' to do.