A Good Kind of Wedgie

A Tale from the Lil' Kristen File: In fifth grade, my math book had a problem that allegedly predicted how tall a person would be as an adult.

Ms. Reed wanted someone to solve the problem on the chalkboard. Everyone turned and looked at me. I was the tallest kid in the class. Taller than the boys.

I quickly worked out the problem. No, it couldn't be. The answer was 72 inches. Six feet.

No way was I going to let everybody know that. I was already nicknamed Mommy Long Legs.

Someone else got suckered into working out the problem. Hunkered over my paper, I continued to do the problem again and again, willing for a different answer.

Well, I continued to be the tallest kid until middle school. That's when I topped out at my adult height — 5'6. No where near 6 feet.

Of course now I think it'd be cool to be taller. Not necessarily Amazonian height, but another few inches would be cool. When I feel like towering over people, I strap on wedges. Love wedges. It's the wimp's way of gaining some extra inches. I put them on and the extra surface area gives me the security I need. It's cool to see eye-to-eye (almost) with my husband and tall male co-workers.

Some wedges I'm lusting after...

•Cynthia Vincent for Target yellow gladiator wedges
Memo to Target honchos: Please do not let this collection suck, as have your previous designer collabs.
• J Crew "Caden" cork wedges. These may be the perfect cork wedge: not too tall and the perfect neutral brown shade. Sure, they're $150, but at least they're made in Italy unlike other higher priced labels where things are still made in China.
• Sam Edelman "Katrice". These zebra striped wedges are unimaginably cool. I really adore that partially wrapped wedge.
• 8020 "Jordan" Cork Wedge . In red, these aren't that flashy, but the black is really cool. Alas, they are sold out nearly everywhere in my size. But, I think I'm getting over them anyway. Is a $100-plus mesh bootie that smart of a shoedrobe investment?
• Coclico "Mosaic" t-strap wedge. OK, these are $354. They are quite beautiful, though. A girl can dream.