Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Mommy's A Wino

Drinking's not my thing.

Never has been. Even back in the day (college), I didn't particularly enjoy it. Alcohol just doesn't taste good. And as my metabolism slows down to the pace of an 80-year-old woman....with a walker....and a wooden leg...trying to cross a busy street, I have to be choosy about my calories. I'd much prefer blowing my ration on chocolate, thankyouverymuch.

But the other day, hubby popped open a bottle of wine that some friends brought over — in December.

It was a Friday, by which time I'm usually toast after the week's shenanigans. So, I let him pour me a glass. And then another. No joke, I actually plugged my nose — just like my kids do when I make an unpalatable dinner they have to choke down to be allowed dessert — and slugged it down.

Had a nice little buzz going, enough to make watching a 17-year-old flick ("Rookie of the Year") for family movie night a lot more entertaining.

The next day, Middle Child and I are at a retreat for her first communion. The teacher was talking about bread and wine at mass. Up shoots her hand and what should come tumbling out of her mouth but this, "My mommy drinks wine! She had three glasses last night!"

As the other parent sat around chuckling, I was just thankful she didn't catch me knocking back a fourth.


Desert Flower said...

Oh thank you, middle child! This is almost as embarrassing as what my oldest once told a daycare worker that mommy and daddy were doing the night before. Red faced does not begin to describe . . .

Lisa said...

Kids are awesome. :o)

That reminds me of some random cartoon I saw where one of the characters takes a sniff of an empty bottle of booze and say "Mm, smells like mommy's kisses."

shy_smiley said...

and if your youngest was there, he could have told everyone that his daddy drinks "beard." Quite a lot, if I'm made to understand correctly. ;-)

Pagano DesignWorks said...

My 2 year old (now 19) once announced to the grocery store that "there is a baby in my mommy's UTERUS!"
Oh kids. I hope you are keeping a record so someday you can torture Middle Child with quotes.