WARNING: This Post Contains A Graphic Image That May Be Disturbing to Readers With Fashion Sense

A Very Different Friday Shoe Haiku

O.M.G. What the....?
Only one person should wear...
Frodo the hobbit.

Typically I pull out a pair of my own shoes for the Friday Shoe Haiku. But when an REI catalog arrived for me (boy, I am sooo not in that company's demographic) and I saw these inside, I knew I had to warn the Blog World. They are out there. And — even worse — people are wearing them! I actually saw a parent shuffling around in these at school one day. I stared at his feet the entire time.

I don't care if they are comfortable, they are hideous. Why would anyone intentionally want to look like Big Foot? You know how Crocs have Jibbitz? Would this shoe's version be add-on hair tufts for the big toe?

You know how in those TV shows, the good guys get tortured by having their fingers cut off, or the villains burn lit cigarettes onto their skin? This would be the fashion equivalent.

Frozen Flashback Courtesy of Thrifty's Ice Cream

I, ahem, need some maternity clothes.

Not 'cuz I'm pregnant. I just look like it thanks to Thrifty's Chocolate Malted Krunch ice cream. Oh, I remember those days when I could eat what I wanted and not worry a bit. Now, everything settles in the middle. A friend who lamented the same thing to her husband had to listen to him brag about how he could still wear his high school jeans. As he said this, he lifted his arms back behind his head revealing that yes, he really could wear the very same pants — only because he was not actually buttoning them.

I might try that.

My problem is I'm a stress eater who also suffers an extreme lack of will power when it comes to most treats, particularly chocolate and particularly this ice cream. The stuff is nearly impossible to find. I once made my husband drive me two hours up the road to Phoenix to a Water Mart store that carried Thrifty's ice cream. We ferried it home packed in dry ice.

I have since found the one store in town that carries Thrifty's. It's a seedy looking, independent convenience store, the kind of place that hobos stumble out of with a giant can of malt liquor swaddled in a paper bag. Oh the places I'll go for something I love to eat.

A spoonful of the cool chocolate creaminess, flecked with melt-in-your-mouth chocolate bits and studded with crunchy, marshmallowlike candies transports me back to the incinerator-hot desert summers of my youth. My younger brother and I and the neighborhood kids would trudge about a mile in the blistering sun to the nearest Thrifty's. I always picked Chocolate Malted Krunch, unless I had enough money for two scoops, in which case I'd throw on a scoop of coconut-pineapple. Weird together but good. The ice cream dude would pull out the crazy gun-shaped scooper that made these perfect cylindrical scoops, the exact same size as the eat-it-all cone.

I am such a nut job that I actually ordered a knock-off Thifty's scooper on eBay. Just didn't seem right to eat Chocolate Malted Krunch that was shaped like a regular ol' blob of ice cream.

Fitting, isn't it, that the scooper gun makes ice cream balls that look like pig snouts.

Oink oink.

Fun With Jeans

We here at Some Hot Dishes applaud jean companies that can do anything to lighten the mood of jeans-buying, which is about as fun as a root canal. So we proudly present Blank Denim with the first ever Most Entertainingly Named Jeans Award. Some of the, um, injeanious labels:

• The Whoremonger (that would be the faded, ripped pair pictured)
• The Beer Goggles
• The Sloth Cloth
• The Inorganic Stud
• The Useless
• The Spam

Classy! They're jeans made for Lindsay Lohan.

Of course, some of the names aren't particularly polite. Nonetheless, it makes for entertaining online shopping.

Hipster site Karmaloop.com has a wide selection of Blank Denim. I'm liking Blank's trouser style, which doesn't have a goofy name, but the finish is called "hard on." Kind of rough, but let's be honest, we do feel that strongly about our very favorite, makes-my-butt-look-spectacular jeans, don't we?

Zac Posen for Target

As I trolled Target for allergy medicine and gummy vitamins, I was going to ignore the newly racked Zac Posen collection. Then I remembered one dress I wanted to see IRL (the tie-dye mini dress, $30), and I ended up dragging it and another (the chambray sundress on the right) into the dressing room.

I was surprised that this romper-y dress was described as chambray — looks more sea-green and the fabric was stiffer than chambray should be. It was $40, which seems excessive for clothing when you're shopping at Target, but it was well-made. Nice seaming details across the bust, and the self-tie belt had a cool, notched edging running across it. In the end, though, it fit weird at the top and was too tight in the middle and just ended up coming off dowdy with its long length and weird bottom tie.

On the other end of the spectrum was the tie-dye mini dress.

This dress's appeal is its wearability — it easily can be dressier or more casual. Cotton with a smidge of spandex, it's soft and has some good give. I was worried it would be too leotardish and clingy, but it wasn't. Not sure how I feel about the shirt-tail hem. In the dressing room it looked cute. But, I was also playing hide-n-seek and trying not to freak out at my child rolling around and rubbing his face into the dirty carpet. So, I don't think this dress got my full attention. I know it didn't because now that I look at these photos, I'm not sure I'm going to keep it.

Looks cute under the cardi but the "bitched up" look with the booties? Kinda comical. That's what happens when you hurry to get something done and don't really think things through. At least you got your ha-ha for the day.

Hoodies for Hoodlums

What is it about the humble hoodie?

I dunno, but I'm a sucker for 'em. Can't even count them up because I don't want to admit how many I actually have. At the risk of sounding like Forrest Gump's friend, I've got some fleece-lined hoodies, hoodie dresses, even a vest with a hood. Now I never actually put the hood on my head (but when I wore one to the airport, I totally got hood-checked!), but I like the security of knowing it's got my back.

There are, however, two styles not in my arsenal, nor will they probably ever be. Head Hoods are a funny idea, although the Grace Slick and Mr. T styles are especially disturbing. I'd totally go for the sock monkey, though.

Then there's a lighted hoodie. Just plain wacky.

It's Easy Being Green (For Your Toes)

I have finally arrived.

I made it to Level 2 on Ulta's ladder of freebie stuff*. No more lame bags of cotton balls (the kind of thing you get on tier 1). Noooo, I scored me free SALON nail polish up to an $8.50 value. That's a pretty good deal.

OPI's "Jade is the New Black" from its recent Hong Kong collection came home with me. The color's a medium green, so it stands out without being as loud as, say, one of the greens from its upcoming Shrek collection. The green's seasonless, too. It'd work in fall or spring. It's a pretty flattering shade to most skin tones, but OPI's site lets you virtually try on the colors, which is cool.

*You can sign up for the Ulta club, which just tracks your purchases. After you accumulate a certain number during a particular time frame, the company sends you a coupon that you can redeem for free stuff. The first level is pretty pedestrian, but the second one has some fairly good prize options. Doesn't cost anything to sign up.

Mini Van, Mega Fun!

I'm officially old.

My birthday is still a few weeks away, but I'm old. Old, old, old. How do I know this? Because I'm kinda excited about my new car.

It's a mini van.

It's not even my first mini van.

When I first had to start driving one six years ago, with a third kid on the way, it was such a blow to my self esteem. It made me feel uncool. Never mind that every third car on the road was a gold Honda Odyssey and I could never find the right one in the parking lot. It just felt like I was becoming the person I never thought — or wanted — to be back when I was in college. But, you have to make concessions in life, as I discover more and more every day.

So, we have "Crystal." Yes, that's what the kids have named the silver Honda Odyssey.

And while I didn't want the last one, this time around, when it became clear that we needed a newer car, I chose it. It was a combination of having the best, most reliable car guys in town (yay Precision Inc!!) — and you don't walk away from that — along with requiring as much space as possible between kids so no blood is shed on long car rides. Blood stains are really, really hard to get out of carpeting.

Needing lots of seats and a pass-through and a DVD player were all on the list, too.

The one thing I am Snoopy-dancing-with-his-nose-in-the-air happy about is the new car smell. I've already warned the carpool kids that no farting is allowed.

And, I suppose to compensate for driving such a mom-jeans kind of car, I can always dress sluttier.

Does This Outfit Work?

Hello, welcome to the first installment of "Does This Outfit Work?"

I became obsessed with these J. Crew silk pants ever since seeing them on A Bigger Closet (see Feb. 28 "Sunday Style" posting). Well, as a friend pointed out, ABC is not of this world. She can wear things that the rest of us mere mortals just cannot pull off. I'm hoping these pants aren't a case in point.

Despite the horrible angle (what happens when you have a grumpy 10-year-old photographer who would rather be playing Jump Start World rather than do what you asked), the pants don't look bad in real life. They're just slouchy enough but not rapper baggy. I paired the pants with last year's wildly popular "cupcake" tank (again from J. Crew) and a matching Crew cardi. The snakeskin flats are Me Too.

Too much volume on top? Better off with a more form-fitting top? Lose the ruffles? Hmmmmm.

Friday Shoe Haiku

Sexy back zipper
These are good for hot weather
Easy on and off


Shoe n' Tell: Jessica Bennett "Halona" strappy heels.

An Earth Day Goodie

Happy Earth Day.

While this is that specific time of year to really be conscious of taking care of the ol' planet, there are a few things I do on a daily basis: I always use reusable bags for shopping, and I skip bottled water. Instead, I use these chic plastic containers.

Aside from looking completely fun, they don't have any of that nasty BPA, and they're a decent 16-ounce size — enough to hydrate but not overwhelm the built-in car cup holder. The set of bottles also comes with a nifty plastic tray that lines 'em all up. Just slide it in the fridge, and you have five bottles of water at the ready. Gotta love.

The Reduce water bottles are available at its Web site ($20) or find 'em on Amazon.com.

Peach Bath Gel

Imagine biting into a ripe, golden peach.

Juice squirts out and dribbles down your chin as pure, unadulterated sweetness explodes in your mouth.

There's nothing better than a perfectly ripe peach, and that's why Caudelie's Vine Peach Shower Gel is such a treat. It doesn't smell at all like that cloyingly artificial fruit stuff you find at Bath & Bodyworks. It's a burst of sunshine in the shower, which is just what you need some mornings.

Find the shower gel online or at Sephora.

Cynthia Vincent for Target — IRL

Look what this little box of sunshine had for me!

How exciting to find a cardboard box with the trademark bull's eyes all over it when I got home. According to Target, my Cynthia Vincent for Target shoes wouldn't arrive until April 26. Props to Target's FREE shipping.

I lucked out with the shoes, too, because I found them — through Google but not listed directly on the Web site — around 7 p.m. before the official April 18 midnight launch. Good thing, too, because those suckas were sold out by Sunday afternoon.

Say what you will about the actual product of a Target collaboration (heard the Jean Paul Gaultier return rate was impressive), but it sure generates buzz and sells out fast.

Both pairs had that unmistakable smell of fine, Corinthian pleather (seriously, can't anyone make faux shoes that don't reek?), but they looked pretty darn cute in real life. The tribal wedges ($30) have a fun pattern with colors more dayglo than they appear in photos. Loved the double Velcro at the ankle for a good fit. Curiously, one of the criss-cross straps also had Velcro, but it didn't really adjust anything. What's the point?

I was most excited about the gladiator wedges ($30). The black looked tough and cool, but I have enough black. I thought the sunny shade would be a fun twist on the edgy style. These seem to be cut more narrow than the tribal wedges. The pleather is of high quality, pebbled, and — except for the smell — I doubt anyone would realize they were faux. The gold snaps aren't functioning except for at the ankle. My right pinkie toe catches at just the wrong point on the strap. I chalk this up to freakish genetics rather than a design flaw since the left foot's pinkie is just fine. I ordered a 7 in both sizes. The tribal felt dead-on, but I'd like a little more room in the gladiator. Since they're sold out, though, I think I'll be making due. Pleather stretches, right?

Mommy's A Wino

Drinking's not my thing.

Never has been. Even back in the day (college), I didn't particularly enjoy it. Alcohol just doesn't taste good. And as my metabolism slows down to the pace of an 80-year-old woman....with a walker....and a wooden leg...trying to cross a busy street, I have to be choosy about my calories. I'd much prefer blowing my ration on chocolate, thankyouverymuch.

But the other day, hubby popped open a bottle of wine that some friends brought over — in December.

It was a Friday, by which time I'm usually toast after the week's shenanigans. So, I let him pour me a glass. And then another. No joke, I actually plugged my nose — just like my kids do when I make an unpalatable dinner they have to choke down to be allowed dessert — and slugged it down.

Had a nice little buzz going, enough to make watching a 17-year-old flick ("Rookie of the Year") for family movie night a lot more entertaining.

The next day, Middle Child and I are at a retreat for her first communion. The teacher was talking about bread and wine at mass. Up shoots her hand and what should come tumbling out of her mouth but this, "My mommy drinks wine! She had three glasses last night!"

As the other parent sat around chuckling, I was just thankful she didn't catch me knocking back a fourth.

Product Review: Redken Wool Shake 08

I am nothing if not easily swayed by the marketing of beauty products. A quick mention of
Redken Wool Shake 08 in a Lucky magazine blog post, sent me scrambling to my nearest Ulta, where the "gel-slush texturizer" was indeed available.

The product ($18 at Ulta, hellooooo $5 coupon) is a charming purplish shade — think boysenberry and strawberry daquiri Jelly Bellies merged into one. The smell's unique, too, kind of earthy and floral and almost musky. I liked it, so that's saying something, giving my very low tolerance for aromas. It does dissipate quickly.

How it works: Shake the container well and spray all over at an arm's length.

Wool Shake 08 (love the Seussian-sounding name) is mainly meant for second-day hair, if you ask me. It acts as a texturizer, roughing up the strands and giving volume so that you can pull your hair back and not have it look flat and, well, slept on. It does make hair look matte so a light hand is best.

Straight-haired reviewers have reported nice, beachy waves. My hair's already like that, so I mostly noticed good volume. I'd say it's a replacement for hair powder on those days when you don't feel like shampooing.

A Good Kind of Wedgie

A Tale from the Lil' Kristen File: In fifth grade, my math book had a problem that allegedly predicted how tall a person would be as an adult.

Ms. Reed wanted someone to solve the problem on the chalkboard. Everyone turned and looked at me. I was the tallest kid in the class. Taller than the boys.

I quickly worked out the problem. No, it couldn't be. The answer was 72 inches. Six feet.

No way was I going to let everybody know that. I was already nicknamed Mommy Long Legs.

Someone else got suckered into working out the problem. Hunkered over my paper, I continued to do the problem again and again, willing for a different answer.

Well, I continued to be the tallest kid until middle school. That's when I topped out at my adult height — 5'6. No where near 6 feet.

Of course now I think it'd be cool to be taller. Not necessarily Amazonian height, but another few inches would be cool. When I feel like towering over people, I strap on wedges. Love wedges. It's the wimp's way of gaining some extra inches. I put them on and the extra surface area gives me the security I need. It's cool to see eye-to-eye (almost) with my husband and tall male co-workers.

Some wedges I'm lusting after...

•Cynthia Vincent for Target yellow gladiator wedges
Memo to Target honchos: Please do not let this collection suck, as have your previous designer collabs.
• J Crew "Caden" cork wedges. These may be the perfect cork wedge: not too tall and the perfect neutral brown shade. Sure, they're $150, but at least they're made in Italy unlike other higher priced labels where things are still made in China.
• Sam Edelman "Katrice". These zebra striped wedges are unimaginably cool. I really adore that partially wrapped wedge.
• 8020 "Jordan" Cork Wedge . In red, these aren't that flashy, but the black is really cool. Alas, they are sold out nearly everywhere in my size. But, I think I'm getting over them anyway. Is a $100-plus mesh bootie that smart of a shoedrobe investment?
• Coclico "Mosaic" t-strap wedge. OK, these are $354. They are quite beautiful, though. A girl can dream.

Ina Models Her J. Crew Necklace

In March, Some Hot Dishes had its first giveaway — a cool J. Crew tortiseshell chain necklace. Ina's the lucky lady who won it. Here she is in the outfit she said she'd wear the necklace with.

Tres cute. It's a great casual-classic look, and the necklace really pops.

Thanks for sharing, Ina.

Friday Shoe Haiku, Plus an Outfit

Sunny yellow pop
If you don't know what to wear,
Go with crazy shoes


Shoe n' Tell: Betseyville low wedges from last spring.

So, I was chagrined to realize that I had yet to wear the H&M Garden Collection tank that I had lusted over for WEEKS before I snapped it up on March 27. Yes, I remember the date. Don't ask me if I remembered to use shampoo this morning when I showered, but I do remember my faborriffic trip to Scottsdale's H&M. So, I put together the outfit around that shirt: Forever XXI white stretch jeans (please, rolled up jeans, don't ever, ever fade out of style); J. Crew knit cardi; Forever XXI rhinestone necklace and trashy bracelets from who knows where. The shoes stumped me, though.

Gold gladiators? Ballet flats? I did what I always do when in doubt: slipped on bright shoes that clash so much they actually seem to go. At least, that's what I like to tell myself.

By the way, can you tell I have a similar just-go-nutty-with-color philosophy regarding nail polish? Gotta love Smurf-blue toes.

Animal Instincts

Animal prints are in again. Always. Forever.

This season's version, though, pairs the hot print with more slouchy, laid-back styles. Love that. It's a great way to incorporate the ha-cha-cha print into everyday basics — without all the hoochiness. Not that there's anything wrong with hoochiness, but it does have a time and place. Target and the grocery store are not those places.

Michael Stars has some fabulous oversized tees with animal print. They're popular crazy-popular and keep selling out, but
Revolveclothing.com has some zebra-print tops worth investigating.

Tax-Break Specials

Seems like the tax specials this year are fewer and farther between.

I'd swear in previous years, my in-box was overflowing with discounts. Just as well, I s'pose.

There are some good deals floating about, so in case you haven't heard:

• Lindsay Lou knocks 35 percent off (and the store offers free shipping) until April 15. Enter "taxbreak35" for the deal.
• Fossil's offering 25 percent off and free shipping with coupon code "BP10CRM04" (that's the discount) and "LINKSHARE" (for free shipping). I'm telling myself I don't need this Iris cardigan on sale for $40, plus that extra 25 percent off. That's it, pictured with this posting, in case you don't want to click over.
• C & C California has a 30 percent off code site-wide, even the sale section, plus you can register for a $250 shopping spree.
• MAC is offering free shipping (code: BUZZ) with any purchase. The new Liberty of London collaboration is out and the packaging is so very cute and the colors are cool. It looks infinitely better than the Target LOL pairing, which was disappointing.

Cold Caffeine to Start the Day

Re-entry is a bitch.

After four, glorious, relaxing, responsibility-free days along the Washington and Oregon coast, I came home to a funky, barnyard-ish smell emanating from the uncleaned guinea pig cage that gave way — as I made my way through the house — to the decidedly burnt aroma of a seriously overcooked dinner. Unwashed dishes sat next to the sink along with a lunchbox, still packed with an uneaten tortilla wrap and tangerine. From Friday, two whole, hot days before.

Oy.

It was a far cry from the respite with my oldest and dearest friend (we go back to grade school) and her sweet cousin at a beach house. We kicked back and read and went to a spa and ate at a lovely, homespun cafe that smelled like heaven.

We savored warm blueberry-lemon scones — soft and buttery inside with a wonderful, crunchy exterior — from Bailey's Bakery and Cafe in Nahcotta, at the northern end of Long Beach Peninsula, Wash. I would love to have a bakery like this some day.

An old fridge sat in the corner holding an array of drinks. A black, wood-burning stove pumped out a little heat. You could see the owner in the back, baking and cooking the day's specials. Such a charming place, and it cracks me up that a rustic spot would have a Web site. Ah, the 21st century.

Right next to Bailey's was a drive-up coffee place that served toddies. I laughed when I saw that, but toddies are not the same as the alcoholic hot toddy. No, a toddy is cold-brewed coffee. It's lower in acid and less bitter because you use a cold water soaking method to make it. I've actually been doing this for a few months now — after too much regular, hot brewed coffee nearly burned a hole in my stomach — but I didn't realize it had a name.

With warmer weather looming, an iced coffee made with the cold brew is the perfect way to jump-start the day.

My recipe for cold-brewed coffee (aka "a toddy")
• 6 ounces of coarse coffee or espresso
• 4 cups of cold water
• a glass container (plastic would get icky stains and taste like coffee forever)
• cheesecloth

Pour the ground coffee into the glass container. Add the water. Stir. Refrigerate overnight.

The next morning, strain the brewed coffee through the cheesecloth into another container. This is very concentrated, so you'll want to dilute it with milk or more water. Add ice and enjoy the low-acid jolt. Store the leftovers in the fridge.
Note: You can also add more water — I do half the amount, 2 cups — for a weaker brew to get good use out of those beans.

We Have A Winner!

Congrats to Nicole Q! She won the style package with "New York Look Book," which captures street fashions along with Amanda Brooks' "I Heart Your Style," a fun read about style and finding your own.

Thanks to all who played and followed. More giveaways coming soon.

Giveaway!!

My brain is officially retired.

My body, however, is not.

This can be kind of a problem. It means I have trouble helping my fourth-grader with math and that I much prefer reading books with pictures to my 5-year-old than actually read an adult book. I love — in those two precious evening hours that I get to call my own after kids are in bed and chores are done — to sit on the splitting-at-the-seams leather couch and veg, watching tv and flipping through fashion magazines and books.

Maybe you do, too.

If so, then you might like the prizes in the Some Hot Dishes latest giveaway contest. Sign up to follow this blog (if you haven't already — a shameless bid to nab at least 50 followers). The next part of your task: Please tell the class about your style. Me? I'd describe mine as schizophrenic/So Cal comfy because I'm all over the fashion map but I always, always, always go for something sumptuously soft. Or a hoodie.

To recap — become a follower if you aren't (if you are, you can still enter, of course) and describe your personal style. A winner will be chosen at random when I return from my relaxing, responsibility-free vacay! You've got until April 11 to enter.

Holy cow, my brain is already in Oregon. I didn't mention what you win: two style books. Score "New York Look Book," which captures street fashions in all their glory, from thigh-high hot-pink boots to an old dude in a tux and tails. The other part of the prize package is Amanda Brooks' "I Heart Your Style," an easy-breezy read that offers up style icons, tips and lots of wonderful photos. Brooks is a fashion consultant who actually gets to put "muse" on her resume. She was the former muse and creative director of Tuleh, which I haven't heard of but I still really think it's cool that she was a muse.

Some people pack up their entire closet for a vacation.

Me? Not so much. I roll the opposite way — the lighter the better.

I like paring things down, and having a carry-on that I won't get charged $200 for. So for my upcoming trip to Oregon, I've managed to get my makeup and clothes down to the essentials. I'm packin' only hoodies and the beauty stuff I can't live without. The one item I have a co-dependent relationship that won't make the trip: my blow dryer. This is an amazing sacrifice. I love this thing, maybe even more than my own children. OK, I do love it more! I admit it!

It's the reason I won't camp. Well, that plus the whole "nature is my toilet" thing doesn't do much for me, either. Some comedian used to joke that he had a house, so why would he want to pretend he didn't have a house? Exactly. But back to my dryer.... The T-3 is amazing and my hair doesn't ever look the same when I use something else. But, it takes up a lot of room with that diffuser attachment, so I'm leaving it behind. I shall miss it.

What I am packing......

In the makeup bag:
• A sample size of MAC's tinted moisturizer. Pretty good. It's got SPF, although I always layer with more, and it's fairly sheer, so it just evens out the skin but doesn't spackle it.
• Tarte cheek stain, which is just the best. Blends well and lasts FOREVER.
• Anastasia matte brow highlighter just to add a little something to the peepers.
• Fresh's Sugar tinted lip treatment. It just adds a touch of color for a natural look and feels so moisturizing. I've actually worn this down to the point that I need to buy another. That never happens with lip stuff — I tire of it before I run out. Good stuff.

As for clothes, I've got a silk-cotton-cashmere blend hoodie (pictured), long fleece hoodie, striped hoodie, a plain purple long-sleeved tee (for variety), jeggings and fleecy leggings.

I think I'm set.

Alas, I won't have phone service or Wifi, so after a good two months of daily blogging, Some Hot Dishes will hit a standstill. But, I will start running a giveaway tomorrow, just to be a good sport.

H&M Garden Collection Rosette Dress - IRL

The red dress — sold out everywhere and going for double and triple its original $39.95 price on eBay — is mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

And now what'll I do? Where will I wear it? The next event is my daughter's first communion. Probably not with these dominatrix-y shoes, though. That'd be a little much for 10 a.m. mass. Maybe.

It fits well, although it'd look better if I actually had boobs. My A cups feel so far out of their comfort zone in a strapless dress that I think I'll have to layer with a tee or cover with a moto jacket.

Leavin' On a Jet Plane

So, I'm going on a trip.

Not to Target. Or the mall. But a real, bonafide, take-off-your-shoes-and-get-on-a-plane trip. This is a big deal. Huge. The last time I went anywhere alone was three years ago. My husband — he of the two-three times a year mancations — always tells me to go wherever I want, take a break, relax.

Yeah, right.

He doesn't realize how different the planning is for our respective trips. When he goes on a trip, he just goes. He packs — no joke — 10 minutes before he's supposed to leave, and then he's gone. I pick up the slack.

If I want to go, I can't just skip away. I have to enlist my parents to help with the kids. Then, I have to rearrange the carpool, send an incredibly detailed e-mail (because my husband forgets everything) that includes each kid's schedule and important phone numbers. I actually sent a copy of the e-mail to my sister-in-law so I would have some sort of evidence to minimize my culpability with Child Protective Services when the local TV stations break the story about the trio of hoodlums terrorizing Tucson, wreaking havoc in the streets.

Oh, and then on top of all that, I have to make sure everything's covered at my job job.

Gee, is it any wonder I haven't gone on a solo trip in three years? It's exhausting.

But, this is an important trip for me. I'm going to visit my oldest and dearest friend right in between our birthdays, which hit a significant double-digit this year.

We're going to just kick back and enjoy not being responsible for anyone else but ourselves. We're hunkering down in the charming town of Seaside, Ore., which is cold and rainy and the kind of place where Edward Cullen could very well be waiting in the wings to whisk me away from the domestic drudgery. And, I just might let that undead hunk do it because so far it's not even 8 a.m. and I've dealt with: a peed-in bed, a burping contest, an Itchy and Scratchy-type fight, an unbelievable grumpy 10-year-old who thinks she's already a teenager and woke up on the wrong side of the bed again AND one of 'em just vomited in the hallway. Good times, good times.

Wow, I just read over this post. Sounds kinda harsh. Maybe I need a stiff drink. Or a trip.

My Kind Of Easter Outfit

Chocolate bunnies, Cadbury eggs, jelly beans....Don't ya just love Easter candy? And, this is my kind of Easter ensemble, which pays homage to Peeps, one of my favorite things ever. Not that I eat them — they're kinda nasty (unless they're slightly nuked and tucked between graham crackers and nestled next to a piece of dark chocolate. That's a different story.) Yes, I prefer to wear Peeps rather than to eat them.

But, I love a pretty floral dress, too.

Outfit for egg huntin': Local Celebrity tee, Forever XXI boyfriend jeans, Mossimo Supply Co. (Target) floral flats.
Outfit for brunch with the parents: H&M Garden Collection dress, layered with a Young Broke & Fabulous slip dress because the H&M number is incredibly sheer and somehow I have no slips except for the horribly uncomfortable Spanx kind and Jessica Bennett strappy heels.