In Search of..... The Perfect Silk Dress

All I want for spring: the perfect drapey silk dress.

That doesn't seem so much to ask, does it?

Madewell has some pretty smashing stuff. But, it's so pricey. I'm crushing on the lush, green print in this silk number. This is my dream dress. Can't find it on the Website anymore. See what good taste I have? It's sold out already.

Possible, less expensive options:
• The Palm Prints dress, $128, which is actually rayon.
• Tinley Road Pleated Slash Dress, $74. This Piperlime exclusive gets a demerit for polyester construction, but I like the more fitted look and cute butterfly pattern.

Not So Awkward

Middle Child's latest habit is to trill "Awwwwkward!" at, well, awkward moments. And, sometimes moments that really aren't awkward. We're working on that.

These jeans are dubbed the Awkward Straight — even though they aren't the least bit awkward. In fact, they're pretty fab.

A scary "final sale" item from Piperlime.com, the Current/Elliott jeans have that luxuriously comfy boyfriend fit but with a more tapered, cropped leg. Love. I dressed them up with a recent swap party find, a short Gap trench; an Aqua silk/rayon blouse and my favorite, barely walkable Me Too "Locket" pumps.

A Yee Haw Outfit

It's rodeo time here in the Old Pueblo.

That means no school (seriously), the world's longest non-motorized parade (read horses clip-clopping and plopping in the street) and ..... lots of overly done cowboy outfits. We're talking boots, denim-on-denim (shiver — I don't care what Jenna Lyons says, that is not a good look) and plaid button-downs with pointy pockets.

Homey don't play that.

But, I do think that Sandra Bullock in "Hope Floats" pulled off a good western look without going overboard. Side note: She also had the best movie hair ever — thick, wavy — in that flick.

Here's my "Hope Floats"-inspired imitation: Current/Elliott denim hoodie; thrifted floral dress; Forever XXI leggings; Jessica Bennett boots and Target necklaces.

Friday Shoe Haiku: Come to Mama

Chunky, cool platfoms
Boy I have a thang for Wang
Or, Herman Munster.

Shoe 'n Tell: Just spotted these Alexander Wang Claudia platform booties on Shopbop.com. They look tough and edgy. The peep-toe front and vented back show enough skin to keep the shoe from being too clunky. But, who am I kidding? They're $600. Here's hoping for a 98 percent off sale.

Having Another Go At the Target Collections

So, when Target recently announced it was celebrating the fifth anniversary of its Go International collection with dresses from past designers, my initial reaction was...."Meh."

I mean, I took a pass for the most part. Amazing what a difference time makes.

Things I didn't pay attention to before, I certainly am now. How could I have missed that color-blocked, spaghetti-strapped Tara Jarmon number? It's so perfectly springy and summery and layerable with a cardi. And the green-blue plaid strapless Lella Bartley number? Sasssssy.

Prices range from $24.99-$44.99, affordable. Dresses are available March 13-April 10 at most Target stores and online. So, it's likely our Target stores will get bypassed. Again.

Why, Target, why must you turn up your nose at Tucson?!? We matter! We like to dress well and affordably!

If that is the case — that they're only available online in our neck of the woods — then I'll likely pass again. These really aren't the kinds of dresses you can order online. You must try 'em on to feel the material and figure out the fit (such wonky sizing, ya know).

But, I'm not going to despair just yet. I'm going to be optimistic, as in "the dress is half-zipped up!" rather than writing the sitch off as an "I've gained so much weight the dress will never zip again" scenario.

Don't let me down, Target.

Dresses:
• Jovovich-Hawk, $39.99
• Paul & Joe, $24.99
• Thakoon, $39.99
• Luella Bartley, $44.99
• Tara Jarmon, $29.99

Currently Coveting: Casual Coverups

Loosely woven coverups keep catching my eye these days. I see 'em and think, 'Now that would be perfect for the beach!'

This is stupid because A) I live in the desert and B) I haven't been on a beach vacation in two years. Now that we're facing private school tuition, that number might stretch into five years. Or 10. Sigh.

But because a good shopper can always rationalize, the desert (like the beach) does get chilly at night. And, we are entering that transitional time of year when it's good to have some coverage but you don't need to be completely swaddled for warmth.

Some fun looks:

• Ever Adak Blanket Throw Sweater ($245). It had me at blanket. And throw. I love a good, loose wrap.
• Eternal Sunshine Creations Sergeant Pepper Long Cardigan ($106.40). The gauzy texture is so lovely and the longer length gives this a dressier quality.
• Textile Elizabeth & James Cable Boxy Pullover ($325). My favorite, of course, because it's freakishly expensive. That mish-mosh of textures sure is wonderful, though. You can practically feel it just be looking at it.
• Patterson J. Kincaid Crochet Capri Shrug ($198). Definitely more on the summery side, the playful boho vibe adds spark to jeans or cut-offs.

As Seen on eBay

EBay is a real treasure trove. Sometimes, it's just fun to read the listings, even if you're not remotely interested in the actual items. Check out this gem. You gotta love the guy's truthiness:


Chann Luu
Type: Scarf
Color: Light Lavender (see picture)
Design: floral with sparkly things (see picture)
Condition: Brand New with Tags from Bloomingdale's
Description: I don't know much about this item since I'm a guy, but it measures around 5 1/2 feet long and seems like a scarf like item. I will start the bidding like all my auctions at .01 and hopefully someone can find some use for it.

New Current/Elliott Jeans

What do you get when you take uber-comfy boyfriend jeans and add a draw-string waist?

Seconds — on dessert.

In a brilliant but deadly-on-the-waistline move, Current/Elliott has made its sinfully-soft, crazy-comfortable boyfriend jeans even more wearable. Meet the new fat jeans.

Cheap Thrill: Choxie

Ah, Choxie.

It's the chocolate with moxie — or at least super-cute packaging.

If you're a sweets snob and have turned up your nose at Target's treats, you need to get down off your high chocolate horse.

Give Choxie a chance. In particular, the dark chocolate espresso truffle bar. It's smooth, dark but not too bitter and has finely-ground espresso. It's the perfect afternoon pick-me-up.

I got one as a gift and Target apparently likes to keep its online Choxie prices top-secret, but I'm guessing they're just under $2.

Tryin' On Falsies

As much as I love Snuffleupagus eyelashes — which only occur naturally on ungrateful children or males — I've never done the extension thing. Or even the false eyelashes thing.

Until now.

It wasn't at my own hands — it was done for a photo shoot. The makeup artist thought we should go all-out and really glam it up. She was right. Truth be told, even though I felt like a Muppet (specifically Janice from Dr. Teeth's band), those falsies were kinda cool.

Friday Shoe Haiku: Ugg Lust

Uggerific sneaks
Argyle style is nerdy cool
I must make them mine.

Shoe n' Tell: These Ugg Laela sneakers are on my to-buy list. I've always thought slip-on sneakers were, well, not such a good idea. Then I realized I slip my sneakers on all the time rather than unlacing and lacing again.

Red, White and.....Brown

Brown rarely sneaks its way into my closet. I'm not sure why.

After all, it is the color of chocolate and hot cocoa and puppy dog eyes. It's a warm and inviting color, unlike black which can come across as cold and detached.

When I spotted these Current/Elliott boyfriend cords — in the perfect teddy-bear shade of brown — on a sample-sale site, I was instantly smitten. Turns out, brown can be pretty darn versatile, too.

Outfit: Current/Elliott hooded denim jacket, Forever XXI striped top; Current/Elliott cords; Klub Nico pointed flats.

Cheap Thrill: Goody Spin Pins

Some mornings, when you're battling your 'do and it's obvious it won't be a good hair day, you just want to say, "Screw it."

Guess what? You can.

Goody Spin Pins ($5.99 for two) really do screw into your hair, holding in place a sassy bun that disguises your hair's utter lack of cooperation.

Now, I've passed by these things in the hair aisle at Target many a time, convinced they would just get stuck and need to get cut out. They have that look about them. Then a friend sang their praises, saying the Spin Pins were the best hair gizmo ever. She was so adamant that I had to try.

They are pretty easy to use — just twist one in. To get it out, twist counter-clockwise. Thick hair can get away with one pin while thinner tresses may require two.

I twisted both in and went the whole day without either pin feeling like it would fall out. Even better, they didn't poke me in the head.

So go ahead, screw it.

Ah, Sweet Youth

Sometimes I wish I were 5 again, for a lot of reasons.

Today, it's because these bedsheets are totally bitchin'.

Happy Valentine's Day

I will not be wearing these heart-shaped nipple covers ($18) today.

But to all the romantic girls who are: Rock on.

OPI — Shatter

OPI's Shatter is the perfect nailpolish for sucky manicurists, such as myself.

Paint it on, and it immediately begins to crackle and separate — like all my manicures look in, oh, 50 seconds. But unlike my handiwork, which just looks sloppy, Shatter splinters into these cool designs that could double as Rorschach tests. Some nails look like bamboo, others tiger stripes. Cool.

Shatter, part of the new Katy Perry collection, is a tough polish to find. It's been flying off the shelves. Luckily, my obsession with it coincided with Ulta's new shipment of the $8.50 polish (yay for those coupons. Nearly $10 for nailpolish is crazzzzy. Crazy.).

Should you be so inclined to try it out, some tips:
• Use a high-contrast color beneath. The brighter the better since the black covers almost the whole nail surface.
• Don't be shy — lay it on thick for the best effect.

Is it worth it? The polish is pretty cool. The crackly black finish not only looks edgy, it's a brilliant way to hide those inevitable chips.

Another Retailer Drinks the Crewlade

The Crewification continues. Now, Garnet Hill (along with Banana Republic, Ann Taylor and just about every other major mainstream label) is looking a lot like J Crew.

Does that ruffled blouse not look familiar? The Garnet Hill catalog boasts that this top is "exclusive." Yeah, um, only because it's a few years after J Crew did it.

Page after page in the catalog sports Crewish rolled jeans shorts and its famous cardi/shorts combo.

C'mon, retailers, show us something new. Please.

Friday Shoe Haiku: A Very Interesting Development

Soft, flip-flop lining
Slap it into a bright shoe
Squishy and comfy

Shoe n' Tell: Havaianas (could that brand be any harder to spell?) are adding espadrilles and sneaks to its lineup next month. Love the bright colors and the promise of a squishy-soft footbed. Now these could be sneakers that you really could wear sockless.

Jean Watch: Bleulab

Is there any finer acronym in shopping than BOGO?

Probably not. Buy one, get one is a screamin' deal. In the ultimate BOGO, Bleulab jeans are reversible. You've got one finish and then turn 'em inside out for the other. Two different looks, one pair o' jeans. They're the ultimate traveling pants.

Color me intrigued.

One For The Itty Bitties

I wasted a fair amount of my childhood/teendom wishing for boobs.

Why oh why couldn't that Judy Blume chant have worked?! (Refresher: "We MUST! We MUST! We MUST increase our BUST!") It didn't help that my brother and father once came home from the mall with a shirt reading "Objects beneath this shirt are larger than they appear."

Hardy har har.

But with age comes perspective — and not saggage when you've got nanoboobs. It took many years, but hey, I'm fine with that. Because look at the cute things I can wear. This VPL bra would not work on someone who needs support.

Of course, the argument against this is, I don't have $145 worth of material to put in it.

From the WTF Files: Some Fugly, Crazy shoes

From henceforth I shall not use the abbreviation of WTF but rather WTFP, as in, What the Free People?!?!

I don't think I've seen weirder, less wearable stuff than Free People — with the exception of this porn site that I accidentally stumbled upon in the search for a natural makeup artist's blog.

Anyhoo, I love a good platform. This would not be one.

My daughter once crafted something just this ugly for dress-up, wrapping a chunky piece of fabric around her shoe and duct-taping it on.

Seriously, WTFP?!

It's a Shawl! It's a Scarf! It's Just Plain Cool!

This two-color, drapey shawl hybrid spawned my most recent quest.

Neat, isn't it?

I spotted the San Diego Hat Co. cowl thingamajigger on a website, saw that it was dirt cheap and hurried to add it to my cart. Alas, it was sold out.

So the quest began.

It's amazing how typing in "cowl/shawl/scarf" turned out this Free People beaut on eBay. This accessory is even better than the one that caused the frenzy.

The sequined "collar" adds a dressy touch, as does the subtle ruching. Hard to tell from the photos, but it's a midnight blue with metallic thread running through it.

Coolest Packaging Ever

Without a doubt, this is the most flippin' awesome makeup packaging ever.

MAC's Wonder Woman collection hits stores Thursday, but is already available online.

Bet it sells out.

Put A Lid On It

OK. Sorry, sorry. Mea cappa, knitcap maker people.

Not long ago I said mean things about those fuzzy hoodie/caps that looked like animal heads.

Then I went and bought one.

Allow me to explain myself.

One most unusual night when my husband and I were out and not at all acting our age (we were browsing Urban Outfitters. So not in that demographic), we spotted this super-cool Bert — as in Sesame Street — knit cap.

"You NEED that hat!" I said.

Ever the cheapskate, he replied, "I'm not paying $36 for that."

"You can wear it in the mornings to walk the dogs! It could be a makeshift Halloween costume."

I couldn't talk him into it. And so I became....oddsessed.

Googling like a mad woman, I tried to find that cap online at a tightwad-accepted price. No luck. But, I found plenty of other super cute deLux knit caps.

My one, lone winter hat is utterly lame. But, I fell in love with the koala cap and was almost moo-ved enough by the sale price to spring for a cow hat. I must say, as the temperature dipped to 19 degrees here in the desert the other day, I was mighty glad to have that koala sittin' on my head.

Friday Shoe Haiku....An Expected Pair

Hey, UPS guy!
Hurry up and drop these off.
Sure hope they don't suck.

Shoe n' Tell: Found these Pour la Victoire wedges (or, as my friends call 'em, PLVs) last week.

I couldn't resist.

With just under a 3-inch heel, I'm thinkin' they're wearable. Reports from other PLV wearers is that the leather is like buttah. Allegedly, they arrive today. Please don't suck....please don't suck....

A Broken Promise

I imposed an internal fashion ban. I didn't dare utter this out loud to anyone, lest I get caught violating it.

Good thing, too. 'Cuz I broke it.

Two things my wardrobe does not need — hoodies and t-shirts, specifically boyfriend tees. Yet, I love them both so.

When I saw this happy, striped Project E v-neck through the glass door of the closed-on-Mondays Butz Jeans Co., I made a mental note of it. When I went back the next day to get a pair of jeans, I actually commented on how cute that combo of red and purple was. Then I went home and thought about it. Nonstop.

I ended up calling and having it held until I could add it to my overflowing T-shirt stash.

I'm not the least bit sorry, either. That bright color combo makes me think of jelly beans and rolling down grass hills. It's perky and bright. I don't have a lot of patterned tees. So, I needed it.

Wonder Woman-Mom

Go ahead. Bring it on, Bad Guys.

I can handle your confusing homework. I can whip up a dinner that three out of four people will appreciate. I can wash those endless piles of dishes and clothes AND clean up the dog barf.

On second thought, screw it. I have an invisible plane — I'm gonna blow this Popsicle stand! Let Superdad deal with it.


The goods: Junkfood Wonder Woman shirt, $26. Rain boots from Target, $8.74. (Go a full size down — they run biiiig. The last thing you want to do — as you're running toward the invisible plane with children chasing behind you — is to lose a boot.)
P.S. I do not really have She-Ra thighs — those are my two-sizes-bigger boyfriend jeans. Obviously, I will not make the mistake again to pair them with a slightly oversized shirt.

The Ultimate Multi-Tasking Accessory

Talk about utilitarian.

This multi-tasking scarf ($22) does more than just keep your neck warm. It also:
•protects your 'do from a sudden drizzle
•offers an extra place for your keys, thanks to the pockets
•is better than a woobie with its magical tri-blend of rayon, poly and cotton.

For those of us gals who multi-task — and prefer that our garments do the same — this is the ultimate. It's even better than the flip-flop with the hidden zip pocket in the heel. Seriously — there was such a thing.

Now, is it better than a roller-skating shoe? Well, the jury's still out. I think that would be bitchin' to roll through the grocery store in record time wearing those skate-shoe hybrids, Heelies.